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Disquietude

by Tuonela

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Fabian Gelhart
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1.
Oh How the Mighty Have Fallen 03:29
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It’s cold in here It’s your atmosphere My words, they come Dancing from my tongue I’m not afraid to tell you goodbye I’ve been waiting to make the call I’m not afraid to push you aside And let some light through the cracks of these walls It’s cold when you’re near You’re thriving on the fear Followers, they come You’ll tolerate til’ you move on I’m not afraid to tell you goodbye I’ve been waiting to make the call I’m not afraid to push you aside And let some light through the cracks of these walls I’m not afraid to open the curtains So that you are fully exposed Cuz’ I’m not afraid, I’m oh so certain That as fast as you rise you will fall You will fall I want to watch you crumble I want to watch you stumble down Cuz’ I’m not afraid to tell you goodbye I’ve been waiting to make the call I’m not afraid to push you aside And let some light through the cracks of these walls I’m not afraid to open the curtains So that you are fully exposed I’m not afraid, I’m oh so certain That as fast as you rise you will fall
2.
Make It Stop 03:02
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Keep quiet you’re loud as hell and I can’t hear myself Remembering everything, oh I don’t want to Make it stop It hurts to think about you like this You’re lying you never thought of me when you were alone Don’t gloat. It doesn’t help me to sugarcoat Make it stop It hurts to think about you like this Make it stop It hurts to think about you like this You pretend like you cared and I always want to bad to believe you I always try to believe you until you again and again, let me down You always let me down, oh And it’s my fault, it’s my fault Make it stop It hurts to think about you like this Make it stop It hurts to think about you like this
3.
The Shades of You 03:02
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Lying in the midst of the fire you ignited but I don’t feel the warmth Rain comes pouring down, it’s my silver lining, the calm before the storm I welcome the thunder. I brace myself I knew this was coming. I couldn’t save myself I wasn’t strong enough to pull myself out The shades of you I didn’t recognize disguised themselves And I was convinced it was all in my head I didn’t trust myself, I blinded myself instead. Instead Waking up to a deafening silence everywhere but inside my mind All this time I thought I needed your presence and now without you I am fine This is a loneliness that is comforting And that alone is telling me something. I wasn’t strong enough to pull myself out The shades of you I didn’t recognize disguised themselves And I was convinced it was all in my head I didn’t trust myself, I blinded myself instead. Instead Falling in the cracks but they’re leading to somewhere Anywhere but here This mystery is frightening but somehow enlightening And it’s freeing my soul I wasn’t strong enough to pull myself out The shades of you I didn’t recognize disguised themselves And I was convinced it was all in my head I didn’t trust myself, I blinded myself instead. Instead Cuz’ I wasn’t strong enough to pull myself out The shades of you I didn’t recognize disguised themselves And I was convinced it was all in my head I didn’t trust myself, I blinded myself instead. Instead
4.
Rewind (feat. Courtney LaPlante) 03:24
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When I lost you I lost my mind I dreamed about you all the time While you were leaving, my jaw clenched tight I didn’t have the strength to break free from my burdens and fight I just want to rewind back to a time When if felt alright to have you running though my mind When you walked out I just shut down I needed you but it hurts to have you around You made decisions I hope you regret You can’t turn back the clock now to make those decisions different No you can’t (No you can’t). No you can’t (no you can’). Live with it (Live with it) I just want to rewind back to a time When if felt alright to have you running though my mind I just want to rewind back to when I felt alright I just want to feel alright All I ever wanted was for you to just have a little faith in me All I ever needed was for you to want to, to want to stay with me To want to stay with me I just want to rewind back to a time When if felt alright to have you running though my mind I just want to rewind back to the nights with your hand in mine I just want to feel alright.
5.
It's Like I Was Never There 02:55
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My skin is thin and porcelain Easy to break me down I’m not ignorant. My eyes are wide open Watching you trying not to drown I believed in you, you believed in what What you thought you knew, what you thought you got You were clinging to shadows of someone Holding onto them when they’d already gone When they’d already gone You’d like to believe that I am better off without you Does that make it easier for you to accept all your mistakes I believed in you, you believed in what What you thought you knew, what you thought you got You were clinging to shadows of someone Holding onto them when they’d already gone When they’d already gone Oh, when I’ve already gone Oh, when I’m already gone You’d like to believe that you are better off without me Does that make it easier to accept that I’ve gone away You’d like to believe that you are to blame for everything between us Does that make it easier that you couldn’t convince me to stay You couldn’t convince me to stay You couldn’t convince me to stay You tried, not hard enough and so I died In your mind You’d like to believe that I am better off without you Does that make it easier for you to accept all your mistakes You’d like to believe that you are better off without me Does that make it easier to accept that I’ve gone away
6.
Everything's Illuminated 03:30
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When you walk in the room Everything’s illuminated I want to bask in it but on the other hand I’m so frustrated with the way that you have A power that you don’t even try to understand Cuz’ you don’t even mind Can you even try to imagine what it would be like To feel outshined, cuz’ I feel it all the time When you walk in the room All the motion halts around you I want to bask in it but you’re oblivious Cuz’ there’s not a single thing that you can take serious But you don’t question it for a minute Cuz’ you don’t even mind Can you even try to imagine what it would be like To feel outshined, cuz’ I feel it all the time Can you even try to imagine what it would be like To feel outshined, cuz’ I feel it all the time All the time. All the time Pretending we’re fine, oh I’m under water can I come up for air now Drowning in illusions that you care now I’m underwater can I take a breath now I can’t breathe, I can’t I’m under water can I come up for air now Drowning in illusions that you care now I’m underwater can I take a breath now I can’t breathe Can you even try to imagine what it would be like To feel outshined, cuz’ I feel it all the time Can you even try to imagine what it would be like To feel outshined, cuz’ everyone else feels it all the time All the time, all the time Pretending we’re fine I can’t breathe, I can’t

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released May 31, 2019

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Tuonela Schaumburg, Illinois

Tuonela (previously Ventures) is a 2 person Ambient Electronic Rock Band comprising Evan Brundage (Drums/Guitar/Bass/Synths etc) and Ashley Pagano (Vocals/Keys) in the Chicagoland area of Illinois.

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